Need You Now
by Soul Flash
Summary: Kyle's guilt is crushing him; Cartman doesn't know what he did wrong. Kyman.


A/N: That's right! Another story. This one was inspired by Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now." Awesome song. Very sad. I heard it yesterday on the radio and thought it would be perfect for a Kyman story. Got an idea and just had to write it out. I recommend that if you don't know the song that you listen to it to see exactly how it fits.

The boys are older in this one, somewhere around their early twenties. Cartman's drinking legally! XD

Hope you enjoy. ;D

Pairing: The ever so wonderful Kyman. Don't like, don't read. Back button's right up there.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but this story.

* * *

Kyle sighed heavily as he tossed on his mattress again. It had been a long night. He had been up for the past three hours, sifting through drawers, binders, and such looking through old pictures that were flawless memories of the life he once had. The life he threw away because he was stupid, reckless, and all around cocky. He thought he could have it all, and he ended up with nothing.

The pictures were scattered on the floor, something that would have irked his organizational self if he was feeling somewhat normal. But instead of picking the photos up, he chose to just lay on his bed, tossing and turning like bugs were crawling on his skin. His mind itched for him to go to sleep, but his body just wouldn't have it. Maybe getting those pictures out was a bad idea. Looking at them only made it hurt more. And it hurt so much already...

Now he would never get to sleep.

Sighing again, he turned to look at the clock. A quarter after one. Way past the time he had intended to go to sleep. But hell, it was a Saturday night. Not like he had to get up early the next morning. Still, he wished that this wasn't eating away at his mind so much. He wished he could just...

...let it go.

But he couldn't. He couldn't just let it go. It was too hard. The guilt and pain of losing... _him... _was way too much for him. His hand reached over to hover on his phone on the nightstand, his mind carefully contemplating what he was about to do. Should he really call him? He said he never would again. Something he probably shouldn't have said. There were a lot of things that he shouldn't have said. And he couldn't take them back now. But...

...but he still had to try.

For _his _sake.

He picked the phone up, flipped it open, and shakily pressed in the number for his speed dial.

While he was nervously, anxiously sitting through the dial tone and praying to god that he would get an answer, Kyle wondered if he had ever crossed Cartman's mind since the time they broke up. Because for Kyle... it happened all the time. All the time. Every single minute, Cartman was there. In his mind. Taunting him. Telling him he was wrong for what he did. And God... he knew he was wrong. He knew he was so wrong...

He swallowed heavily, feeling his heart sink lower each time he heard a dial tone. Even then, he waited it out. He would wait it out even if Cartman didn't pick up and it went straight to his voice mail. Because he needed to get through to Cartman in any way he could. He would leave a message if he had to. He needed this, so bad. So freaking bad.

He needed Cartman. Now.

* * *

The glass clinked against the table as Cartman set it down gently. He sighed, the faint smell of whiskey on his breath as he exhaled. He ignored it as he gazed at the door across the room, not quite aware of what he was doing. It was stupid for him to hope. He knew Kyle didn't like bars; not in the least. Never did he drink, – mostly because of his diabetes, though Cartman knew that wasn't the only reason – so there was no chance in hell he was coming to a bar to find him.

There was no chance in hell he would be walking through that door.

He grunted, ordering another shot as the waitress walked by. Just for the hell of it, he picked up the phone to see how late it was, partly wondering exactly how much time he had wasted in here sulking and getting... well, wasted. His blurred eyes blinked in an attempt for them to focus, and he read that it was a quarter after one. Nice. The bar would be closing soon. That meant he would have to stumble his way home somehow and would end up spending another night cold and alone. And the next morning he would probably wake up with a hangover, and no one would be there to take care of his sorry ass as he threw up his guts into the toilet...

...God, fuck his life.

Seriously, what in the hell did he ever do wrong? All he ever was was kind. Loving. Compassionate. He had actually bothered to change over the years. It took him a long time, but at least he was able to change and realize that it wasn't all about him. Love wasn't something so foreign to him anymore, and just when he got the chance to prove that to someone he truly loved, he got shot down like a fucking duck in the air. He still didn't understand it. Apparently _he _had changed, too. Just like him, _he _was a completely different person, totally opposite of what he used to be.

He mumbled a thank you to the waitress as she set his drink down. Quickly he downed it, his thoughts never straying from his mental rant.

However, this rant soon turned into remorse. Maybe there had been something he had missed with... _him. _Maybe there was something that he did do wrong, and he just didn't notice it. Still, he couldn't begin to imagine what it was.

God, how he wished he could do something. Fix this all. Go back to the way it was before, when they were both happy and in love. Even if that love was fake on _his _side, it would still make him happy. He wished he could relive that one moment when Kyle did come into the bar that one night. When he had been experimenting, trying to find someone because he was so _desperate _to find someone to love_, _and Cartman had ended up bringing him home with him not only because he felt a place full of staggering drunks was no place for Kyle, -really, he had been such a perfect guy before – but because Cartman saw Kyle as nothing but beautiful and just _had_ to try his luck. All of those years of bottling up his emotions and he had to do something about it. He just couldn't hold them in anymore; they had to be let go.

And amazingly... Kyle had accepted. He didn't know why, but he did. And they had the most perfect love. It was amazing. Too perfect for words. Or... so he thought. It was all shattered in a second. A split second that left his heart broken beyond repair. Though he should have expected it. Why wouldn't Kyle think that he could do so much better than Cartman? Why... why shouldn't he? After all, Cartman welcomed him with open arms, and Kyle didn't find that to be enough. No, he wanted a challenge. A man that would push him away, a man that he would actually have to fight for. Cartman was too easy. Cartman was too soft. Cartman could ave bee tricking him for all he knew.

He shook his head, chuckling a little. He must have looked pathetic at that moment. Damn him for being so fucking obsessed with Kyle. Stupid Jew was always on his mind now, and he couldn't get him out. Faintly he wondered if it was the same for Kyle, but that was quickly ruled as a no. Of course Kyle didn't ever think about him like he did about Kyle. Kyle hadn't been in love with him for eleven years.

It was then that he realized that he was clutching his phone in his right hand. Blinking in thought, he considered calling Kyle to at least hear his voice once again, -even though it would probably only be in an angry form; still, it was Kyle's voice to him and that made him happy – but he quickly dropped the phone like it was on fire as he recognized what exactly it was that he was doing. He couldn't call Kyle. That would be stupid. Really, where would that get him? Nowhere. No, he needed to try and find someone new. Someone who wouldn't just throw him away like last week's garbage. That was another reason he had come to his bar, and he was going to fulfill that mission even if it killed him.

But Christ... he missed Kyle so fucking much. And he knew he wasn't going to find a decent guy here. They were all as low as he was. Because really, why else would they come here to a place like this?

His fingers clutched his phone again, shaking as he decided to flip the phone open and stare at the numbers. Yeah, this wasn't a good idea. He was a little too drunk to be thinking straight now, though. Besides, what did he have to lose? It's not like he could hurt any worse than he was hurting now. And even if Kyle could injure him even more with words of malice, he didn't think he would mind because at least Kyle was making him hurt. No one else but Kyle. He would rather hurt than feel nothing at all if it meant Kyle was the one doing it to him.

He chuckled to himself again, pressing down the number for Kyle's speed dial.

God, he needed him so bad right now...

* * *

Kyle groaned in defeat, pulling the phone away from his ear and looking at it. Cartman must have had his phone on silent or something. Shaking his head, he flopped his arm back down against his side and closed his eyes. What should he do now? There obviously wasn't any point in calling Cartman. He wouldn't pick up; something he should have realized when tried to call him. And really, why should he? He had nothing to say to Kyle. It was right for him to ignore him. After all, they weren't together anymore. He had every right to push Kyle away, just like he pushed Cartman away before. Kyle didn't deserve-

_Bzzt._

Kyle nearly jumped off of his bed as he felt his phone vibrate in his hand. Not having a clue as to who was calling him at this hour, he looked at the screen in curiosity. His heart stopped when he read the name.

Cartman.

His eyes went wide in complete shock as he stared at the screen. He stared at the screen for the longest time, not making a move to answer the call because his body was frozen. It was all so surreal to him that he felt he was trapped in some alternate world where time had stopped completely, and it was just him and the phone. The buzzing, vibrating phone that had his ex on the other line. The ex that he ended up hurting was calling him, and it was all so messed up that he had no idea what to do.

Though, he finally figured... answering the phone would be a good first step.

Snapping out of his trance, he fumbled his cell in his hands before he managed to force it open. He didn't even give himself time to breathe as he pressed the phone up to his ear, shakily breathing out a quiet, "H-he... hello?"

Chills ran up and down his spine and his stomach twisted itself into knots while he waited for an answer. Faint breathing could be heard on the other end, eventually followed by an answer.

"K-Kyle?"

Feeling just as awkward, nervous, and all around scared as Kyle was, Cartman held in his breath and bit his tongue as he listened for Kyle's reply. Seconds turned into minutes -at least, that's what it seemed like to him – as he waited, his fingers stroking the empty glass as a source of comfort while he felt his mouth go dry. When it seemed to him that Kyle wasn't going to reply and was just blowing him off like every other time before, he considered hanging up and forgetting the idea altogether since it was obviously a stupid, hopeless one on his part. Wishful thinking had never gotten him very far and this time was turning out to be no different.

Kyle's shaky voice stopped him before he could close his phone. "C-Cartman?" he whispered, shuddering as another chill ran up his spine. The shock was affecting him so badly that he felt like he was about to throw up. He swallowed thickly, staring into space as his mind struggled to process just what was happening here. He wasn't sure whether to be surprised or overjoyed. Somehow, he felt both.

Cartman let out a disappointed sigh, bowing his head a little and licking his lips. He didn't know why he was thinking Kyle would actually call him by his first name like he used to. Not like they were close anymore. Kyle had no reason to act so intimate towards him. Another bite to his bottom lip was done as a nervous habit as he realized that he didn't know what to say from there. It was such an impulsive move on his part that he didn't give himself enough time to think of anything to say. Now he was stuck, looking like a fool in front of Kyle like he had so many times before.

Even though it would probably make the situation worse, he tried to say something anyway. "H-... uh, hey, Kyle," he said shyly, his eyes darting back and forth, not resting on any particular thing. "I-I uh... Um..." He swallowed and scratched his fingernails against to wood on the table. "Look, I'm sorry I called. I must have woken you up and... heaven know I'm the last person you want to have to talk to at one in the morning-"

"No, no!" Kyle interrupted, a little bit eagerly he noticed. He took a second to compose himself before he spoke again. "I-it's fine, Cartman. I was already up anyway, so it's cool. Really." He sighed, pressing his tongue against his lips. "It's fine. In fact, I..."

He trailed off here, contemplating if he should tell Cartman the truth or not. It would make him look like a hypocrite. He had said that he would never call Cartman ever again; he had said that he never wanted to talk to Cartman again; he had been so cold to Cartman that he believed trying to patch things up with him wouldn't do any good. That's why it was so hard for him to call him. And now he had his chance to talk to him, to work it out like he wanted. Just like he wanted. He always got what he wanted. He didn't think Cartman was good enough for him, so he pushed him away to satisfy himself. Just himself.

He felt his stomach sink in guilt.

Fuck it. Fuck coming off as a hypocrite. This wasn't about him anymore. This wasn't about his bitchy little spoiled self that was willing to push anyone away because he felt he was too good, that he could get anything and everything he wanted just because he was a smart, hard-working, and all around cute boy. This wasn't about just Kyle Broflovski anymore.

This was about Eric Cartman, the boy – no... man - that he had hurt.

"I was actually..." Kyle took in another breath, "About to call you. N-No, I did. I did call you. But you didn't pick up, and I gave up because I was thinking to myself, 'Why in the hell should you pick up? Why would you bother? I'm the one who hurt you; you have no reason to take me back.' But then you called me and... I mean, I'm so shocked," he added quickly, "Flattered! Why are you calling me? Surely you don't have anything to say to me. At least, nothing good."

Cartman shook his head, throwing down a fifty dollar bill on the table as he stood and stretched. "You're wrong, Kyle," he chuckled softly. "I didn't call you to make you feel bad about what you did. I'm calling because..." he sighed, "I guess because I just can't stand it anymore."

Though Kyle wasn't exactly sure how or why he knew this, he understood what Cartman was referring to. "Me either..." he said in a hushed voice, crossing his legs on his bed. An old nervous habit reemerged in him as he took a red curl of his into his fingers and began to twirl it around. It reminded him of so many years ago when he would sit on his bed at night and talk to his best friend Stan for hours on end, nothing holding him back from hanging up and going to bed except for his yawns and drooping eyes. To think, things seemed so much simpler back then. It was still high school, but at least it wasn't real life. At least it wasn't like this. Nothing was ever his fault back then. Of course, he wasn't the way he was now back then. He had changed for the worse after he had gotten into college. It almost scared him that he was just realizing it now; just how bad he had become.

Cartman nodded absentmindedly as he closed a door, heading up some stairs carefully. He was still in a bit of a drunken stupor, so he was cautious with each move. His head was already going to hurt like a bitch in the morning; he didn't need a broken leg to add to the misery.

"Tell me something, Kyle..." he said, bringing his foot over the last step.

"...What's that?" Kyle asked in return, feeling his heart beat faster in his chest. He could only imagine what Cartman was going to ask him. Probably something about him breaking up with Cartman. Or why he was so distant and cold. He felt his heart clench painfully.

Cartman's question surprised him.

"Do I ever cross your mind? Like, ever?" he asked, leaning against a wall to steady himself. He looked up for a moment and grinned slightly, leaning his head back and breathing out deeply.

Kyle blinked in total shock at this, but he didn't' dare waste a second replying. "Yeah! Yeah, y-you... you do." His face scrunched up in pain as he struggled to keep himself calm, something he was finding harder to do by the second. 'C-Cart... Eric, I... I'm really, really sorry. I was stupid, I... you... I-I mean-"

"It's okay, Kyle." Cartman reassured, pushing himself off of the wall and facing the door in front of him. His smile grew wider as he put his hand over the doorknob and turned it, pushing the door open to walk inside. He pulled his phone away from his ear as he walked farther in, soon finding what he was looking for. His body leaned against the door frame and stared at the bed in front of him, waiting patiently for Kyle to notice him. It didn't take long.

He continued after Kyle's gasp of shock. "I understand. You don't have to explain."

"B-But, Eric, I-!"

Cartman shook his head, holding his hand up. "No. All I need to know..." he held his arms out and tilted his head, "Is if you'll take me back."

"..." Kyle stood up slowly, staggering as much as Cartman was though he was sober as could be. When he finally made his way over to Cartman, he stared into his eyes for a moment or two, shaking his head in disbelief. He couldn't believe it was happening; that this was really happening. This was his one chance, his one shot, and there was no way in hell he was going to screw it up now. No fucking way.

Without any warning he threw himself at Cartman, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck and pressing their lips together in a passionate kiss. It was anything but rough, much unlike many of the kisses they had shared before. This kiss was soft but at the same time pained – at least on Kyle's part – and full of more love than they could even handle. But even though it was too much, it was still spectacular. It was everything that Cartman had wanted, and Kyle knew this. His heart swelled at the thought because it was now more than ever that he was determined to make Cartman truly happy. To make him feel loved like he deserved in so many ways. So many more ways than him. And even though the thought that he himself wasn't probably deserving of someone else, the joy of knowing that he was making Cartman happy overwhelmed that pain.

He felt... truly at peace now.

Kyle pulled back, panting from the heated kiss they just shared. His eyes locked with Cartman's and he felt his heart melt for the first time in weeks. There was something about the look Cartman was giving him now. They were so full of... love and compassion. God, they looked amazing...

He looked amazing.

"Cartman... Eric." Kyle breathed, reaching a hand up to cup Cartman's cheek. "I... I'm so sorry. I," he swallowed thickly, "I _need _you."

Cartman blinked slowly, his parted lips curving up into a soft smile. The smell of the whiskey on his breath wasn't as evident anymore as he focused his full attention on Kyle. He leaned in close to Kyle's face for another kiss, whispering gently against his lips:

"I need you, too, Kyle. I need you, too."

* * *

The end! =D Believe it or not, I'm pretty proud of this story. It was certainly fun to write, and I think it came out well.

Reviews are appreciated as always. X3

Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed it! Until next time,

-Soul


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